I was recently reminded of the possibility of instant karma in which I don't believe, although I would wonder how to wriggle my way out of questioning the instant-ness of insights of Karmic nature! More recent than that incident was a simple reflection upon the most destructive elements of the human mind and life. After due pondering I realised that the following are by far most destructive to nurture a free and happy mind and life. I shant go to explaining them, as that would be wasted effort.
1. Guilt
2. Ego
3. Fear
4. Security
Writing them on a card, I placed it in front of me and let life run though my mind as I knew it. At random points I stopped the spinwheel of the cinema reel and asked myself, "So what made me do that?" or "Why did I think/react thus?" I am glad to note that the card was soon covered with tick marks!! :-)
I thought you might be interested in a similar game.
i don't believe in karma either, i dont like to think about my life b/c it is too embarassing
ReplyDeleteShall I make it long or short? Let me see...
ReplyDeleteGuilt Ego Fear Security - Without guilt one would not know what it means to be innocent; nor appreciate innocence which you find in abundance in a child. When then does an innocent child know about guilt?
Ego - I'll go a lil further and equal it to Jealousy ... that arrives promptly when a child sees his / her mother fondling his / her sibling. The first time he / she expresses this jealousy in action or words and the wrath of the parent is unleashed FEAR takes hold ... Fear comes in other ways too - fear of darkness, spiders, water, roaches etc etc ... But the fear a child feels of facing mom's wrath or dad's cold silence for any reason whether it was slapping, fighting or throwing food or getting bad grades ... That is the one which makes him / her either a secure and confident adult or an insecure, jealous, egoistic individual whose actions which spur from these emotions eventually lead one to feel guilty and miserable ...
Made sense ...??? *Sigh* I wonder :-)
Dear N,
ReplyDeleteI said I don't believe in instant-K. :-) Your life is nowhere near embarrassing... :-|
Dear L,
The interesting thing about these 4 is that their boundaries aren't marked and one easily flows into another. What you call ego/jealousy in the child can be seen as security. A child knows neither innocence nor guilt. All that it knows is what it wants and the rest is (mostly) all free flowing. Made sense, don't worry! :-D
This is what leads us to figure out what we need to give our child: loads of things and great schools and great ambitions OR understanding, love, a sense of inner completeness and clarity.
"The following are by far most destructive to nurture a free and happy mind and life.
ReplyDelete1. Guilt
2. Ego
3. Fear
4. Security" -
I disagree totally; again you are making a big mistake in talking about secondary reactions as though they are first principles.
Let me explain. You have a value system, because of which you have a sense of right and wrong, you have an innate acceptance in you as to what is favourable to your personality and what isnt; what give you a sense of security and what doesnt, what makes for Ego, and what makes for non-Ego.
So when you find your free and happy mind and life, not so free and happy, dont blame the secondary reactions of fear, guilt, as being the cause of this condition. Nor the great term Ego. I shall speak about security later.
Fear and guilt do not mar the nurturing of your happy mind and life. It is what YOU DID that went contrary to your value system, which in turn created this fear and guilt. Guilt is just an indicator of a mistake done by you, a mistake which you, in your heart of hearts, know to be and accept to be a mistake / a wrong done by you to another person or situation, as the case may be.
A sincere person will not immediately say "off with guilt"; and choose to ignore the warning vibration. He will not become desensitized to his own alarm systems; but he will on the contrary check out what wrong he has done to whom, to what that this feeling of guilt is in him. He then has a knowledge of his own actions, his own mistakes and wrongs. And with this knowledge he has to make right the wrong if possible, or at least not repeat the mistake another time.
This is the utility of guilt. Guilt is a temporary useful tool which tells you that you have done something not in accordance to your own heart, mind or soul;that you have betrayed your own value system. If you dont take heed of the fire alarm, and write off and throw it away, you will be destroying only yourself.
Fear: for others/ situations can be easily remedied by improving our skills, capacities and on that strong foundation, build our confidence needed to handle human beings and difficult situations.
Fear for the unknown, inexplicable fear for nothing all but everything, all this can only go, with due spiritual, psychological, philosophical education.
Ego: I have never understood what is so very wrong with Ego. And what ill effects have been the result of ego. If ego is too bad a word, let us replace it with self-respect, a sense of our own individuality and its supreme worth, and of course self-esteem. If ego is different from all these, then let me know. And please make me understand what is evil about it.
If "Ego" is, on the contrary, self-respect, self-esteem, and a sense of individuality - then pray what is so wrong about these beautiful concepts, what is wrong in living them? If I abandon them wont I be abandoning myself to the stupid selves of others?
Do enlighten me please.
Security:
What what what what? Security leads to an unhappy mind and life. How how how? A sense of security is even more important than happiness; or rather, this security is a strong foundation for happiness. And it is upto us that we develop in us this sense of security, a sense of groundedness, this sense of complete safety in us BASED TOTALLY ON OUR OWN SELVES, instead of on our millions of relationships, our financial status etc. Let us have such a self confidence, such a great self esteem and self respect that we never ever need another person to feel secure. Let us not burden others with our sense of insecurity. We should be ourselves free, confident and courageous. And let others be.
But we should also remember that money is vvvvvvimportant for security to mean anything at all. A person without sufficient money to lead a life as he deems fit, will be like a man whose legs have been cut off at the knees. He will have no sense of security. So money is the objective mandatory that is needed to have security. All else is just a matter of developing our own personality internally and spiritually.
What is so wrong with security I fail to see. Without it one is like a cork tossed about in the ocean, unable to do anything constructive or creative. Security is the firm earth beneath us; why condemn it? How will it be if there were permanent earthquakes all the time? Even if we live, life itself will disappear, as there will be no security.
Security , permanence, long term commitment are the foundation for building a wonderful life of growth, creativity, and beauty.
I fail to see the negatives in security - honest.