Retro-graphy

Shall I play along? Let me stretch myself a bit before I suggest the plan that is smouldering in my mind, for the pleasures to strive at rekindling the dying nuggets of coal far out-excite those of pouring out the details quickly and fervidly. Lean forward, mate, as what I have to say is better festooned between your ears and my tongue.

I wish to write a retro-graphy. Don't wonder about what it means as it means what I want it to. I shall write a detailed tome of my life starting now and till the age of 60. It should take me about 12 months to do that. Help me a bit and we can pack it in 11. So the next 11 months of my life will be excluded. It should be easy to understand the plot. I will write about my life 12 months from now till I am 60. Now here starts what makes me smack my lips like a tongue of mango pickled in lime and salt.

I shall live my life according to that book!! What say, mate? A little over 40 years lived according to the Book of E. What say, mate? I promise you I won't chose anything otherwise. If I mention a Monday spent in a blue shirt with camel trousers to go, then so shall it be. If I don't mention it, I ain't no violating! What say, mate? People will know me before I die. But the fun starts here.
I can write about murdering someone and that the jury forgives me. Well, I will murder that blessed fella, but the jury must forgive me. We can't have a retro-graphy go wrong, can we, mate?
And then I will write about investing money in some stocks and they will all grow and make me rich. Its upto the government to see that my retro-graphy works out to be true. They owe truth that much.
Then I will write about marrying sweet Charlize Theron or some younger actress (I think a Mary or a Julia is common enough to happen at Hollywood) or maybe both. I won't give the lady's name but write that I changed it to a Susan. This will let me pick any woman I want and change her name. What say, mate?
I will write about being the single man responsible for stopping the damned war. I am sure the US won't pull out for many years now, so I can safely put that into my book. If they do pull out, we better have them attack good ol' Iraq at the time mentioned in the retro-graphy. The world must support truth, eh! mate?
Think about all the Nobel prizes they will want to give me and beg me to come and receive. Think about all the villas they want to build for me. Think about all the damn good things in life that people will sponsor for good ol' me. I will have it all in the retro-graphy.

What say, mate?