Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Rash Driving

Bangalore is a city where private vehicles carry a benevolent sign on their rear (wherever there is space). This sign asks the reader to call a particular number if the vehicle bearing that sign is found to be driving rashly. A typical message is:
If found driving rashly, please call 9812345678.

I wonder whether anyone really does call. I suppose a typical conversation would be:

Me: Hello, 9812345678?
He: Yes
Me: I have a complaint against your driver
He: What's his name?
Me: Name? As in, I only saw the car driven rashly.
He: Did he kill someone?
Me: No, but...
He: Did he run over someone?
Me: No, but...
He: Did he make a bus swerve and run over the median to hit some lamp-post?
Me: No, but...
He: What was rash then?
Me: He kept overtaking everyone and zipping past all vehicles, honking away and flashing his headlight.
He: And what was he supposed to do? Wait for you to reach home before he turns on the ignition? Please sir, you shouldn't be dishonouring our drivers like this. They have small kids and a wife? Wife of any size but small kids... very very small kids. 
Me: But that doesn't mean he drives rashly. If every driver with a wife and small kids...
He: Very small kids
Me: Whatever! Very very very small kids! If every Indian drove like that then only those wives and kids will remain and none of the men!
He: Oh! So you want me to fire him?
Me: No! At least...
He: I should cut off his salary for this month so that you feel happy while his very very small kids starve?
Me: No, but...
He: Maybe I should rebuke him in front of everyone so that he gets depressed and commits suicide. His small small kids will then cry "Papa" all alone.
Me: Dammit!! Why don't you put his kids on the bonnet of the car so that he drives carefully!!?
He: Silence
Me: Silence and thinking whether this man has put the phone down
He: Hmmm. So you want me to suggest to him that he kill his very very small kids?
Me: Goddammit! I am asking you to tell him that he should drive carefully and not rashly!
He: Rashly? But did he kill someone!?
Me: Slam the phone really really hard and wishing that someone invent a way by which that impact can be transferred to the other end.


Nevertheless, I was wondering what happens if this benevolent sign was not restricted to private transport services alone! Some of the results follow:

Husband sticks this on his wife's car:


Banker has this stuck on his car:


A Virgin Mobile subscriber in India (and they will know why!):


Teaser:


The devout Kannadiga with least regard to being understood: (btw, I just pasted together stuff, so in case it doesn't mean anything or means something blasphemous, please excuse)


Car driven by a teenager:


Jealous wife's husband's car:


Literature student:



Zen Master:



Touchy person:



Devdas:



FCS (the parallel of an MCP):



Teenage girl's car:



Page 3 regular:


7 comments:

  1. hahahahaha...LOL'ing all the way..btw, what is FCS?

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  2. LOL. does fcs mean female chauvinist sow ? :-D

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  3. In Switzerland.. If found driving rashly, or breaking the rules.. a big bill with a fine will be home delivered.!! LOL..
    Musings

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  4. I'm still laughing :)

    I've added your blog on my blog watch. Some new feature of blogger. I just found time to read the blogs I read ...

    Will get back with my own thoughts and pics and vdo after maybe 2 or 3 weeks ... until then, ta ta.

    Shall let you know whatI'v been up to.

    By the way, over here rash driving is caught on film - there's cameras every where (where it counts)and the police do follow up. A hefty fine. Even for speaking on the mobile - Dh 500 Fine!

    My personal theory on all this - if a punishment is announced it must be followed through. If there are loop holes (in our country - bribes) well, there's no point in rules then! Right?

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  5. Dear K,
    Glad it raised a laugh. Gokul seems to have given a good expansion for FCS. Let's just say that is good enough! ;-)

    Dear G,
    Welcome to this blog. Maybe it does... maybe it doesn't. :-D

    Dear M,
    Swiss-land is so un-adventurous in that sense.

    Dear A,
    Welcome back. Hope your trip was good. I agree with you about rules, but the crazy driving does let folks like me write about something!! :-D

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  6. very funny post. thanks for the laugh. Can you make your title linkable, so i can send the link !

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  7. Touchy person was my fav. Good read. Apt label.

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