Saturday, June 26, 2010

Toe Tagged

Been a while since I responded to a tag (or even been tagged). Sangeeta tagged me so I thought, why not! Here goes...

1. What one material thing are you hoping/ scoping to inherit?
A large house, with a huge, huge, massive library on the first floor with around 30,000-40,000 books bound in leather (fake is ok) and stacked in oak shelves with a walking platform to each level of the library. At the centre of the library is this huge Mahogany desk with real leather top and brass drawer pullers (don't want to call them handles). Of course, the person from whom I am inheriting has a taste identical to mine, so the books are only those that I would love to read! The other floors and lawns and porticos are essentially styled and constructed to my preference (remember that we share a taste in everything). The kitchen is huge with its own library, wood fuel oven, large cauldron in a corner, several pots and pans and an amazing array of knives, spoons and forks. The minor stoves are in the centre (like a DJ's turntable) built on a toroid, so that I can enter and work nearly 360 degrees. All of this is set in white marble, silver, copper and occasionally red and black shades. Predominantly white, though. There will always be instrumental music playing in here and hence, the speaker systems are built into the paneling. There is a mobile reading kiosk on which I can place a book I might want to refer to while cooking without having to place it on the counter and getting it all stained! The lawn, undoubtedly has simple plants altered as per the season, but at the centre of this hemisphere (well, the drive is along the curves of the hemisphere, hence, it must be a hemisphere) is a smallish tree under which is this large block of pink marble half done into a lounge diwan (the upper half is polished and shaped but the lower portions are as it was cut from its mother block). In front of it is a small bird water feeder made of wrought iron (yes, the patina shows). There is a large teak wood and brass knobs swing as soon as you enter the house, but that is only what I would notice as I rush into my library! The basement, of course, is acoustically architected as an audio visual theatre. Sleep!? Of course, in the library.

2. If You were a character in a movie that you've seen who would I be and why?
I would say Wolverine. I like spreading out my hands and having clean metal coming out of my knuckles. Though I would never do it, I loved it when he withdrew all but one talon to spite Cyclops. I would love to do all of this (and shave too) but I dread having to dig my nose and suddenly have one... ouch! But the hairdo and razors win the argument. The fact that I cannot be wounded long enough is also interesting. If I were in a naughty mood I might have picked Hollow Man or Mystique (ooh! I will be that naughty little fly hovering on the ceiling while you... oooh! naughty, while you... you know, eat Tiramisu without me!).

3. If You could do one thing for Someone, no matter what it was, what would it be for Who?
I would bring sense to him and her. I mean, all of humanity.

4. You’re driving. It’s great weather. Attractive member of opposite sex in expensive car looks at you and half-smiles. You’re in a relationship. Do you return the look and half-smile back?
I don't think an attractive member of the opposite sex is ever seen in an expensive car alone! And if she is alone, I would wonder why is she smiling at ME!? So I would do more than return the look and smile back. I would stop my bike (car!?), walk up to her and ask her what she found so amusing! And then you know, the usual stuff happens. She tells me to get lost, I obey, and then I go to my friends and tell them stories about ... you know! So, smile and look I would definitely give unless I am eating in which case I don't want crumbs flying out, so no smile.

5. Pick a situation
a. You’re 42. Would you rather go without sex for three years and win a lottery after that, enabling you to never have to work again? Or
b. Get twice the lottery money now (at 42) but have your partner sleep with your boss?

Go without sex for 3 years!? That makes me 45. If I do win a lottery which funds me for the rest of my life... what does that have to do with 3-years-no-sex!? As in, I was holding back for a lottery!? I thought people held back for something great in the same domain. Like a gorgeous Carmen Electra who never has a headache or something like that. I don't see the logic in A so I will consider B, now. If I get twice the lottery money now, that means my wife and I can live a funded life. Why would she have to sleep with my boss (maybe he is younger!? More handsome!? More.. you know, stupid!?)? And if my life is funded, why do I have a boss? If this woman is the same one who was going to give me the 3-years-no-sex thingy in option A, then my boss can have her! Let him also end up having to pick A or B. Share your suffering, they say!!

6. What has been the craziest thing u have ever done?
And I would be telling you this? What makes you think I will be telling you about the time when I ... naah! You don't get to know about the time when I... naaah!

7. God gave u chance to alter any one event in the past, present or future. What wud that event be?
The point when this one monkey decided to stand up erect and start a specie called homo sapiens. Hmm. Yep, that event simply must go.

8. Would you rather go bald or lose your front tooth?
I think I will go bald. I don't use my hair to bite into food! That activity must go on, and on, and on, and on... Hence, teeth:yes hair:whatever!

9. Your sibling is sleeping with your married close friend. Who do you go to first, sibling or married close friend?
Wow! This is as weird as Q5. What is happening to this world!? No sex for 3 years, wife sleeping with boss, sibling sleeping with married close friend, this person still being my friend... God! Sex does turn this world around! BTW, who do I go to first for what!!? Aaaaaargh! This is getting kinkier by the minute!? It gets confusing. If my sibling is a girl, then my friend is a guy and that is out of the question (I mean going to him). If my sibling is a girl and my friend is a girl, then they don't want me. If my sibling is a guy and my friend is a girl, then I am most probably married to her which is equally out of the question. Gets messy!! Forget it. I will release a few mice in the room and shut the door behind me!!

10. Would you rather your kid turn out to be a nymphomaniac or gay?(For my amusement, please answer in the format: I would rather my kid be —)
I would rather my kid turn out to be gay and confused the daylights out of people around him/her.

I need to tag, but I doubt anyone reads this blog beyond a few people who do not have blogs of their own. Hence, anyone who would like to be tagged, please accept this tag. Yes, I mean you, you and you.


  1. Anonymous10:46 AM

    your answers are hilarious LOL

    p.s - my login doesnt work anymore

  2. Dear W,
    Long time since you came here. I didn't even know whether you read this blog anymore. Glad you enjoyed the read... :-)

  3. Thanks for picking up the tag. I always thgt Ur blog was a 'serious' one when i was a regular earlier.

    U r funny toooooooo!

  4. Dear S,
    :-) What shall I say?