Age of Celebrity

I don't know what made me write that post but I am glad I did as it provided Parvati-ji an opportunity to share a link to some interesting thoughts. I was also reading Flavorpill's recent piece about 20th century's most reclusive writers and J.D.Salinger's obit in the NY Times.

It would be sufficient to read the second link above as it does discuss a similar issue in great depth. I actually had a poem to write about this but thought that I had written too many in the recent past. I loved a sentence in that article: "Virginity is classically the outward sign of spiritual inviolability, of a self untouched by the world, a soul that has preserved its integrity by refusing to descend into the chaos and self-division of sexual and social relations". I recently amused a young friend when he asked me "Do you like dogs?" and I replied, "Most definitely. Anything non-human has my attention."

Today's generation (and I would consider everyone below the age of 50-60 as members of this generation) simply cannot stay alone. When I read somewhere that torture mechanisms included keeping a person in isolation, I wondered (and at the age of 12-13 I wondered a lot) what was so torturous about that. I thought it would be rather normal with the person singing songs and perfecting his voice, creating stories and poems and most importantly, introspecting and learning from previous deeds and re-affirming one's previous decisions based on sound principles (Come, let's away to prison; // We two alone will sing like birds I' th' cage). Recently I counted my book collection (non-technical) till it crossed the 800 tome mark and figured out that if I read them leisurely, I would take 20 years to complete all of them (some are simply too huge) and after 20 years I would most certainly want to re-read the ones which I had read 20 years ago. That would amount to another 20 years! That takes care of 40 years of my life. That afternoon was my happiest in a very long time. And all this in the solitude of my room. And that is when I considered the scenario of not telling anyone about this. What indeed happens to joy if there is none to share it with? Does it lose its lucre!?

I used this question as my lens to view motivations for most action in this world. Would someone become a general manager if there was no one to notice that progress? Would someone hit six sixes in a cricket match if there was no broadcast mechanism to tell the world about it and no newspaper to make a loud noise about it? Consider the complete closure of the advertising industry! No Rs. 210 crore for Dhoni who has done nothing more than play a game occasionally well and get married. Stupidity would be a lot more localised and offer little inspiration for other fools. Do I send my child to painting classes so that he wins the competition in school and make me proud!? What if he alone participated in it?

I realise I am taking the discussion along a different track, but I consider it vital. While the articles above discuss about the reluctance for being alone, I wish to discuss why people cannot enjoy for enjoyments sake. They all probably merge at a point in the self, but that we shall arrive at in another post. I feel people consider an achievement worthless if it doesn't have the sanction and cheers of many more people. Why else would America have so many thousand Halls of Fame? Why else would every single person who can write rush to publish his work? Why will a dancer (and I know a few such specimens) not care about realising the complete beauty of a form but worry more about the dance reviews and how many places have invited her to repeat the same piece over and over again? Why will every sportsman care so much about being a celebrity and not about playing remarkably better than the previous season (do we hear about what a sportsman is doing to ensure that his average score doubles?)?

Because the beauty of an act has been stamped under the incessant cries averring that joy and celebration cannot be done alone. People are depressed (or are told that they must be) if they spend their birthdays alone. People are shocked when they hear that someone simply sat by a lake reading a book throughout the weekend (I would give my right arm to have such a weekend). I had once backpacked to Ooty with no reservations made and a bag full of books and little else. People thought I was angry, depressed, sad and everything other than sensible for having done that.

While one reads this post, one might imagine this to hardly be a significant thing, but consider a whole month where your joys and sorrows and achievements are private, your plans and goals are private, your wounds and accolades are private, your satisfied meal is known to none other than yourself and you already think that I am signing you up for a torturous month of living like a recluse. No! You will still be the same and joke with everyone and eat with everyone and travel in a bus with everyone, except that your life's details are known to none.

I nursed this dream of being published. I sent out my articles (which I haven't yet put up on this blog) to renowned magazines and they all got rejected. I didn't feel sad but kept wondering why I wouldn't get published. I was willing to buy the "Your writing is pathetic" reason but not in the light of stuff that was getting published. Soon I realised that it was quite against my grain. I agree with Salinger: To write and not be published, feels far more honest. There is no pretense about wanting to be a "writer". You simply are that. I read this post now as I type it and realise that anyone could have written this, but that is pointless enough to keep me past my bedtime and have me type away at my computer. Now I automatically delete all calls for submissions not because I consider it wrong to publish but simply realise that it is not something I am comfortable with (sour grapes?).

People ask, why shouldn't you be popular if you are good at something? Why shouldn't I share my joys with the 2252 friends I have on Facebook? Even if it something like "Sunday mornings are so lazzzy"? And here is where I wish to represent all the writers (including the authors of the links above including myself): Aloneness is choice and loneliness is a reaction. If you refrain from making the choice out of fear for the reaction, then it is a matter of concern for you. JK talks along similar lines about boredom and escaping from it (without understanding it) towards entertainment and company and anything that can keep you busy and unconscious. If you are good, you probably will be popular (at least after you are dead, like Van Gogh). But neither is being good nor enjoying the goodness of being thus a collective affair. You cannot vote someone into feeling good about something though that is what is happening nowadays!

The age of celebrity has caused people to fear the consequences of not being heard and known and connected, of not finding "Likes" to reaffirm our choices and tastes, of being the only one to enjoy a quiet evening on the terrace. In the process, a lot is lost and nothing substantial gained. The works that endure the tests of time, have all been created in solitude (Tao Te Ching, Pieta, Hamlet, etc.) and great saints and hermits have found what most of the world craves for, in solitude. Though I do not wish to fight a case for solitude, I wonder how irreversible the effects of the age of celebrity are on the human psyche. For one who cannot be happy in himself, cannot find happiness in many like himself.

Other Links, you might find interesting:

1. http://zenhabits.net/solitude/
2. http://www.theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/
3. http://zenhabits.net/creative-habit/

Relevant

Young hands reach

For the temple bell, again -

Such devotion I pray for.

Memory

Choreographed

Silent drops fall on upturned vessels -

Childhood's wind chimes.

Silhouettes

Even flowers darken,

So none will miss

The full moon tonight.

Soul's Architecture

I build a slight alcove

With a single beam of light,

Where I shall find none,

Not even myself...

Toe Tagged

Been a while since I responded to a tag (or even been tagged). Sangeeta tagged me so I thought, why not! Here goes...

1. What one material thing are you hoping/ scoping to inherit?

A large house, with a huge, huge, massive library on the first floor with around 30,000-40,000 books bound in leather (fake is ok) and stacked in oak shelves with a walking platform to each level of the library. At the centre of the library is this huge Mahogany desk with real leather top and brass drawer pullers (don't want to call them handles). Of course, the person from whom I am inheriting has a taste identical to mine, so the books are only those that I would love to read! The other floors and lawns and porticos are essentially styled and constructed to my preference (remember that we share a taste in everything). The kitchen is huge with its own library, wood fuel oven, large cauldron in a corner, several pots and pans and an amazing array of knives, spoons and forks. The minor stoves are in the centre (like a DJ's turntable) built on a toroid, so that I can enter and work nearly 360 degrees. All of this is set in white marble, silver, copper and occasionally red and black shades. Predominantly white, though. There will always be instrumental music playing in here and hence, the speaker systems are built into the paneling. There is a mobile reading kiosk on which I can place a book I might want to refer to while cooking without having to place it on the counter and getting it all stained! The lawn, undoubtedly has simple plants altered as per the season, but at the centre of this hemisphere (well, the drive is along the curves of the hemisphere, hence, it must be a hemisphere) is a smallish tree under which is this large block of pink marble half done into a lounge diwan (the upper half is polished and shaped but the lower portions are as it was cut from its mother block). In front of it is a small bird water feeder made of wrought iron (yes, the patina shows). There is a large teak wood and brass knobs swing as soon as you enter the house, but that is only what I would notice as I rush into my library! The basement, of course, is acoustically architected as an audio visual theatre. Sleep!? Of course, in the library.

2. If You were a character in a movie that you've seen who would I be and why?

I would say Wolverine. I like spreading out my hands and having clean metal coming out of my knuckles. Though I would never do it, I loved it when he withdrew all but one talon to spite Cyclops. I would love to do all of this (and shave too) but I dread having to dig my nose and suddenly have one... ouch! But the hairdo and razors win the argument. The fact that I cannot be wounded long enough is also interesting. If I were in a naughty mood I might have picked Hollow Man or Mystique (ooh! I will be that naughty little fly hovering on the ceiling while you... oooh! naughty, while you... you know, eat Tiramisu without me!).

3. If You could do one thing for Someone, no matter what it was, what would it be for Who?

I would bring sense to him and her. I mean, all of humanity.

4. You’re driving. It’s great weather. Attractive member of opposite sex in expensive car looks at you and half-smiles. You’re in a relationship. Do you return the look and half-smile back?

I don't think an attractive member of the opposite sex is ever seen in an expensive car alone! And if she is alone, I would wonder why is she smiling at ME!? So I would do more than return the look and smile back. I would stop my bike (car!?), walk up to her and ask her what she found so amusing! And then you know, the usual stuff happens. She tells me to get lost, I obey, and then I go to my friends and tell them stories about ... you know! So, smile and look I would definitely give unless I am eating in which case I don't want crumbs flying out, so no smile.

5. Pick a situation

a. You’re 42. Would you rather go without sex for three years and win a lottery after that, enabling you to never have to work again? Or
b. Get twice the lottery money now (at 42) but have your partner sleep with your boss?

Go without sex for 3 years!? That makes me 45. If I do win a lottery which funds me for the rest of my life... what does that have to do with 3-years-no-sex!? As in, I was holding back for a lottery!? I thought people held back for something great in the same domain. Like a gorgeous Carmen Electra who never has a headache or something like that. I don't see the logic in A so I will consider B, now. If I get twice the lottery money now, that means my wife and I can live a funded life. Why would she have to sleep with my boss (maybe he is younger!? More handsome!? More.. you know, stupid!?)? And if my life is funded, why do I have a boss? If this woman is the same one who was going to give me the 3-years-no-sex thingy in option A, then my boss can have her! Let him also end up having to pick A or B. Share your suffering, they say!!

6. What has been the craziest thing u have ever done?

And I would be telling you this? What makes you think I will be telling you about the time when I ... naah! You don't get to know about the time when I... naaah!

7. God gave u chance to alter any one event in the past, present or future. What wud that event be?

The point when this one monkey decided to stand up erect and start a specie called homo sapiens. Hmm. Yep, that event simply must go.

8. Would you rather go bald or lose your front tooth?

I think I will go bald. I don't use my hair to bite into food! That activity must go on, and on, and on, and on... Hence, teeth:yes hair:whatever!

9. Your sibling is sleeping with your married close friend. Who do you go to first, sibling or married close friend?

Wow! This is as weird as Q5. What is happening to this world!? No sex for 3 years, wife sleeping with boss, sibling sleeping with married close friend, this person still being my friend... God! Sex does turn this world around! BTW, who do I go to first for what!!? Aaaaaargh! This is getting kinkier by the minute!? It gets confusing. If my sibling is a girl, then my friend is a guy and that is out of the question (I mean going to him). If my sibling is a girl and my friend is a girl, then they don't want me. If my sibling is a guy and my friend is a girl, then I am most probably married to her which is equally out of the question. Gets messy!! Forget it. I will release a few mice in the room and shut the door behind me!!

10. Would you rather your kid turn out to be a nymphomaniac or gay?(For my amusement, please answer in the format: I would rather my kid be —)

I would rather my kid turn out to be gay and confused the daylights out of people around him/her.

I need to tag, but I doubt anyone reads this blog beyond a few people who do not have blogs of their own. Hence, anyone who would like to be tagged, please accept this tag. Yes, I mean you, you and you.

A World in a Drop

How easily they

Come and go - Clouds, trees, birds, stars

Over a river.

Tere Bina Jiya Jaaye Na - Ghar

I have been wanting to translate this song for a while. I love this song and it is definitely one of my favourites. Recently a lady wrote me an email which I paste below:

Hello,

I was wondering if you could translate this verse, which is in Hindi, to English.

My friends have expressed what it means, but it sounds peculiar.

You did a lovely job translating the song, "Aaj jaane ki zid na karo"; and I thought you maybe you can have try with this.

"Jab Bhee Khayaalon Mein Too Aaye, Mere Badan Se Khushaboo Aaye"

I would be very grateful if you could.

Thanks

A

It is not often that one receives a request to translate and rarer still based on the goodness of a previous work. I was quite pleased that the love and attention given to the translation of “Aaj Jaane Ki Zidd Na Karo” was communicable and it had reached the far shores of the Western hemisphere (from where A hails). As much as I believe that translations kill the original work or are beautiful in a manner disconnected to the original work (except in being recognized as a translation), I also hold that translations provide an opportunity to recognise the nuances of languages and the possibility of certain expressions which might jar in an ear connected to a foreign tongue. Translations also re-open conversations especially the one in the poet’s mind while s/he was composing the poem. One could never really know what made the poet say something in a particular manner, but to allow the words to buoy one’s imagination, to allowe for conversations around the possibilities and the several interpretations possible, makes translation an interesting indulgence. When in Urdu, one can say Ishq, Pyaar and Muhabbat and shift the window slightly to give you a different view of the landscape of love outside, then it makes for very interesting conversation. To anyone who just said “Oh! They are all the same. E, just romantises things!” here is a line from a beautiful song – Muhabbat bhi na jo samjhe, woh zaalim pyaar kya jaane. I will leave you with that to mull over it and spend wonderful afternoons under the sieved sun thinking about how beautiful that line might be.

The song I am going to translate is from the movie Ghar. This song has been sung by Lata Mangeshkar (and many others thereafter but none matching the sweetness of the original rendition) and composed by Gulzar. The music is composed by R.D.Burman (absolutely brilliant job). The name of the song is “Tere bina, jiya jaaye na”. What I love about the music is the sheer the exultation in the tempo when the song starts. Unlike the mindset of having soft music for ballads, the music is rather energetic but still goes very well with the song. I have known composers who either make the song sound like soft rock music with all the metal and drums. Here is a piece that brings in the energy without making it the focus (ask most people who love this song and they would not praise the energy of the music but usually just the lyrics and/or voice). Of course, this translation is dedicated to A, wherever you are! :-)

Refrain: Tere bina, jiya jaaye na (4)

Bin tere, tere bin, saajana.

Saans mein saans aaye na, oh oh oh.

Without you, my life flows not

Without your (love), without you, my lover

My breath is sans life’s breath.

[Jab bhi khayaalon mein tu aaye

Mere badan se khushboo aaye] (2)

When you fill my mind

My body is fragranced

[Notes for this couplet will be added at the end of this post]

Meheke badan mein raha na jaaye

Raha jaaye na.

In a fragranced body, I can't habit

I can't live then.

[Refrain]

Reshami raatein roz na hongi

Yeh saugaatein roz na hongi

Such silken nights are not forever

Such fortunes are not forever

Zindagi tuj bin raas na aaye

Raas aaye na.

Life without you has no flavour

Flavourless it is.

[Refrain]

Here is a snippet of the discussion I had with A.

Jab bhi khayaalon mein tu aaye, mere badan se khushboo aaye

Jab: When
bhi: ever
khayaalon: thoughts
mein: in
tu: you
aaye: come
Mere: my
badan: body
se: from
khushboo: fragrance
aaye: come

As with most good poetry, there cannot be a singular interpretation and definitely not when taken out of context. Here the context is being set for the line that follows "Meheke badan mein raha na jaaye, raha jaaye na". Else, that singular line, would sound too unctuous (IMO). And, with every interpretation comes a translation.
What the poet might be trying to say is:
"Whenever I think of you, my entire body is fragranced" which is rather terse and does injustice to the poet.
"When you come to my mind, you fill my body with a wonderful fragrance" would be the normal interpretation.
I would look at it differently:
"When you fill my mind, I smell (of) our beautiful union (hence, the fragrance)" which then fits with the next line "And in such a fragranced body (reminding me of our union), I am left breathless"
(Mehake badan mein, raha na jaaye, simply means that "In that fragranced body I am unable to live").
The reason I prefer this, is that a recollection is of the mind, and when a lover remembers the other, it is rare that the love is recollected as a picture on a wall. It is usually recalled as moments of togetherness (imagined or past). Hence, the fragrance that is also imagined is typically of the togetherness.
Another, rather sensuous, interpretation is:
"When I think of you, the woman in me emerges (as a fragrance)" this is in the esoteric notion of a woman smelling different when aroused (and if you have a good nose, you would know).
This interpretation too fits with the next line "And in that fragrance (i.e. the woman in me finds) being by myself is unbearable" (Mehake badan mein raha na jaaye). This might also fit with the seductive on-screen appeal that Rekha had on many viewers.
As a verse in English:
At those moments whenever you pass my mind
Each fragment in me is that fragrance you signed.

This is one of those songs which can never cease to evoke a smile. Salut to all the great artists who gave us this wonderful world of sounds and beauty.

Why a new job!?

Ever since I joined my new company, I have been asked "Why did you join us?" several times. I have been creative and worded them nearly differently every time, but it really makes me want to provide just one answer. And there can be only one answer when you understand several of the underlying facets to a job and making a choice. Let me call my new company as T (since along with the first letter of my previous company it would give the industrial sector in which I work).

Before I get into that, I strongly disagree with people wishing to distinguish between their "personal" and "work" life. As if there is nothing personal about their work or they do no work in their personal life. I think there is but one life and there is a good mix of pursuits which are either intellectual or skill based, monetary in nature, aesthetic in nature and relational (relationships with people, other animals and Nature). Just because there exist various buckets of activities, it doesn't make sense to consider them counter-purpose. I am not talking about the time spent on each but what we bring to each as our character. It is obvious that while doing one task, it might be difficult to do another. But why would I want to be honest to one task and dishonest with another? Why would I want to be sincere to my wife, but insincere to my customer? Why would I want to be frugal at home, but use my office's resources as if it were infinitely available? Why should I be methodical and professional at work but consider it inappropriate in my relational pursuits?

I think if we stopped thinking of life as "work" and "enjoyment" then we can inculcate in our children the same equanimity towards the various facets of life. With our children empowered to look at life as a whole and not as something "that has to be done whether you like it or not" and "the fun you can have once you have done the chores" there is a great hope of a more conscious society. And this wouldn't be mere pedagogy but actual demonstration and embodying of values. Children will be discouraged to look at life as a dichotomy of the boring and the entertaining, as the professional and the casual, as the sincere and the it-doesn't-matter, as a chore and a passion. Even from an individual's point of view (whether there are children to raise responsibly or not) it is vital for one's own character to be Right towards every facet of our life. To consider it wrong to lie to your husband but ok to lie to your boss or obvious to move earth and heaven in order to get your child to the doctor but unthinkable of working extra hours to get your project out of danger reveals a complete lack of character in the individual and when continuously observed by a impressionable mind, this is what gets passed on.

We were always passed the message that work and going to office was the price we had to pay in order to have fun and the good things of life. Our theory of "no reward without pain" morphed into an example which we recognise as the work-life dichotomy. Soon, education, work, paying bills etc. all became the chores that we have to do so that we can go on a vacation in summer.

I have believed and felt the same. I used to think in the same way because I didn't have a better model of representing life around me. But with each progressing day, I realised that I was maintaining the divide more pronounced and sometimes even beyond the natural level of demarcation. It was becoming difficult to manage matters as it amounted to maintaining two personalities - one who enjoyed some portions of life, and one who had to put on this facade in order to go through the chores of living. In this split personality scenario, it is but natural that one views the activities thrust down one's throat with lesser respect and greater indifference and sometimes disgust. The chores became the villain.

Added to this is the emotional drama that relational pursuits bring in. To be sincere and committed to your work meant that you were a boring husband! To not trick your boss and be honest with him meant that you had no excitement in your life (look at Mr. Sharma! He got a medical certificate and took his missus to Singapoooor). To compare the energy you brought to taking Chintu to the doctor with the energy you bring to meeting deadlines is taboo because you are equating your son to a project which is merely work! How could you be so callous!?

Point is, no one was equating a human being to a piece of software. They are valuable in their individual places. What is being suggested is a single character that one takes to every aspect of life and living. Only knaves would recommend that one be honest to the Gods and lie to the Devil. I know of a person who told me, "E, how can you say thus? Work is work and Life is life. You cannot bring our work rules into your home" (and she wasn't referring to a dress code but the resolve to be professional and committed).

I think I have deliberated enough on this particular point. An honest man can only be himself in every minute of his life. Given that, he would want to use his time and skill in an activity which allows him to remain true to his self, true to his capabilities, true to his intelligence and true to his aspirations - be this activity a marriage or a job or an evening spent listening to music. Clearly there is no debate in that matter. If a marriage forces him to lie or not give him opportunities to love to the extent he can or respect his intelligence and goodness or clearly cripple his every single plan that he had or wanted to have in the context of a family, then such a marriage is a disease. So be it with his occupation.

Each person brings their unique combination of individuality, capabilities, skill, intelligence, sensibilities and aspirations. Hence, there is no one size fits all. For me, a life was fruitful if I utilised my abilities to create, ideate and learn with a good dose of humour and relevance. I tried to achieve all of this in my non-work aspects of life, resigning to the impossibility of finding these in a job. I think I slowly started moving my idea of a job away from being software engineering and started exploring other arenas where I could achieve this so that that would become my job and I could be myself in nearly all of what constituted my life.

I think a job must provide 3 ingredients - environment, ethics and excellence. Environment includes the people (colleagues and clients) you work with, the wisdom they bring, the location of your work, the tools available, etc. Ethics covers the values that an environment breathes and embodies. This includes the intra- and inter-environmental dynamics. Excellence is essentially recognising that there is the Right way to doing something and going about doing it that way. Excellence mandates a willingness to learn, to perfect and caring enough to only provide what is the Right output.

Depending on the quality of each of these ingredients, a job can be anything between horrible and Heaven. A job which provides an eclectic mix of professionals with a variety of experience and wisdom, sharing the same values, with a genuine sense of Goodness and Rightness which is revealed in their character and conduct, where the focus is on learning and growing and enjoying it all, where one's skill and intelligence is put to remarkably exciting use and in ways one hadn't imagined, where honesty, integrity, courage, humility and hard work characterise each individual in the organisation and the brilliance that each person brings to their task is a delight in itself, would be a job that would interest me. Add to this a sense of larger good, consciousness, relevance and a drive to empower the rest of the world in suitable ways to experience the same delight in living a holistic life where there are good relationships, good work and good interests pursued over a field of joy and fun and calm, and you have an excellent job to include in your life.

I think we put very little thought into why we want a job and what we want from a job. So when people ask me the question, I usually answer thus - Why I joined this place was to make a last desperate attempt at removing all divides and creating one holistic life where I work, relate, create, ideate and aggregate with one set of principles and soul.

They usually ignore me after listening to this!

Overhauling

I had once written about the sheer comfort in tiredness. It might have seemed fiction then but I have found benefit in being exhausted. It helps one re-visit what is vital and realises comfort in the basic and essential provisions of life. When one works to near exhaustion one doesn't have the energy for anything besides the basic wants of a human being. And in that exercise there is benefit. In the body's tiredness, the mind finds rest. I recall the character in Razor's Edge doing something similar often by seeking out options to work laboriously so that his mind could find rest. It doesn't sound very intuitive, but there is benefit. To some it works like getting drunk - you get your mind off what bothers you the most. For me, it helps quieten my mind so that I can re-think and re-observe all that I had once done.

The past few months have found me shuttling between cities, changing jobs, changing houses (not to mention hunting for them) and overhauling a significant portion of my life. In the midst of all of this, all I could do was paint and cook. Every other creative pursuit of mine was put on the back-burner. Oh! I also made terracotta jewellery, but never mind. I think I worked my way to a level of exhaustion by engaging in a lot of things and draining myself. I think this will go on for another couple of weeks before I can sink into my bed and wake up in a state of creative zest.

Waiting

A scarecrow he is -

Waiting for love to fly by,

Land and stay with him.

True Love

I took my new song

To her, through wind swept green fields -

She was humming it.

Cleansing Ritual

Over the Spring pond

The mountain breeze cleanses the

Golden reflection.

Flitting Away

Warm sun rays beckon.

A sparrow flies, dragging a

Poem in its wake

Vietnamese Rice Paper Rolls

That is what they were called when I ordered them in a Vietnamese restaurant in Ottawa. I fell in love with them. They were, what we Indians would call, satvic. I, of course, had the option of adding chilli sauce (which is not anything like a ketchup but an oil suspension of spicy chilli) to which I often sinfully subscribed, but this dish is splendid even without anything spicy.

I returned to India planning a whole exercise of preparing these rice papers at home. I was sure my mom would throw me out of the house for making such demands of her. I then started looking for adapting Indian rice papads to serve as a coarse cousin of this dish's main ingredient, but, alas! nothing would really work. You could prepare rice paper at home. There is no one, other than your mom or, worse, your wife who could stop you. You would need rice flour, tapioca flour, salt and water. You should be able to find the recipe for this anywhere online.

The reason I love this dish (other than the satvic quality) is its adaptability. Like pasta, bruschetta and salads, this dish has a basic foundation (and hence, not entirely a free-for-all) but lets you mold it to suit your taste.

In Madras (and even in Chennai) you will find rice paper in Amma Nana, on Cathedral Road (opposite Park Sheraton, I think). In Bangalore, this is now available in Spencer's store on M.G.Road. This is the one adjoining Au Bon Pain bakery. I buy the brand below and I haven't been disappointed. Once, opened, please store it in a cool (not cold) dry place.

There are about 40-50 sheets in a pack. You'd rarely want to eat more than 4-5 of them in one sitting (these are starters not enders or this-is-all-you'll-getters). There are tonnes of variations to this dish and I am simply going to tell you the tale of tonight's dinner.

We had some tomato chutney remaining. I had to exhaust it. So, it formed the base on the rice paper. Oh! I forgot to tell you. The rice papers you buy will be firm discs. You need to immerse them in hot water for about 15-20 seconds. Take them out carefully as they will now be delicate and easily given into tearing. If you have long nails, cut them.

After applying the chutney, we introduce the tofu. Now tofu can be smoked, sauteed or deep fried after being dipped in besan batter. I chose the simple sauteed and one side charred option. But before I did that, I julienned (love this word) red capsicum (bell pepper), sauteed it in olive oil (extra virgin, which is not the same as a conservative Indian girl) and sprinkled a little (really, a little) salt and about 2-3 tbsp of balsamic vinegar. This softens the capsicum and lends it a tang.

In the skillet where I had sauteed the capsicum, I sauteed the tofu as well. You can use lengths of paneer to get a similar effect, but tofu is mild and satvic. So now my tofu helped me clean my skillet of the olive oil - balsamic vinegar blend. Then I turned up the heat to char (no, not your single byte variable) them on one side (you won't see that side below). The red worms on top are the capsicum slices. Please buy fresh.



Once you have that placed on the rice paper, you should add a few leaves of fresh basil. Fresh basil in Bangalore is available in the Food Gourmet store on M. G Road and I think in Maison Des Gourmets (Lavelle Road). You might find it at other places. In Madras you will find it in MDG (Senatoph Road) and in the American Vegetable Store in T Nagar. No, you cannot use dried basil for this. Please don't. Have a heart!!

Then, or rather at the outset, you should have powdered some groundnuts and dried red chilli. Then, you add them on top of the basil leaves. It lends a nutty texture and taste to the dish. If you are allergic to groundnuts (which are also known as peanuts) then don't use them. Duh! You could sprinkle some red paprika if it suits your taste.



Now, you need to carefully roll the paper (it is still delicate) making a nice translucent pouch containing all the ingredients mentioned above.

And when many of them are carefully parceled, this is how it looks.

What are the variations possible? Several! I would need a few hundred posts to outline all of them. Experiment with different vegetables (I would never recommend non-veg in this lifetime), different sauces, tofu, paneer, feta cheese, groundnut powder, gunpowder (something that you will get in Maharashtra) and so on. I have played around with several combinations including sun-dried tomatoes, harissa, soya sauce, etc. Be creative! That is really what cooking is all about, and of course the joy of feeding someone.

Spring Songs

A drunk butterfly

Trips on an eager blade of grass

Nature's metronome.

Writing Poems

The day before the poem -

Maimed words strewn and crying out

Veiled connotations.

Truth Re-recognised

And thus I learned well -

Your lies are the rains that cleanse

The skies of perception.