tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post7704733640830677409..comments2024-03-24T10:29:28.588+05:30Comments on like a feather....: The season of marriagesErotemehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1395805621639378582007-07-14T06:06:00.000+05:302007-07-14T06:06:00.000+05:30Dear Anon, It's never too late! :-) If I agree wit...Dear Anon,<BR/> It's never too late! :-) If I agree with what you say (which, you say, is in agreement with what I said ;-) then I would need to turn a blind eye towards the centuries of arranged marriages (and their success ratio is much higher) happening in India. So I think it is less about arranged or designed, but more about individual and collective clarity. This is what I see affecting the affairs of a marriage.Erotemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-43074812621955901952007-07-13T20:44:00.000+05:302007-07-13T20:44:00.000+05:30Hi E,Very nice blog,enjoyed reading it!!I dont kno...Hi E,<BR/><BR/>Very nice blog,enjoyed reading it!!<BR/><BR/>I dont know if its too late to comment on this post about marriage..<BR/><BR/>To decide to get married itself is a big decision and maybe its easy for those who've found their better half and are comfortable to spend the rest of their lives with the chosen one,but then in the case of an "arranged marriage" so to say..on what basis do you choose somebody??Its really scary to get married to a stranger whom you have never met in your life and its like taking a big risk...marriages should not happen just because theres pressure from family,society,because you're getting old or whatever other reasons that can be attributed to it..i completely agree with your thoughts on this..its a tough decision to make and im still searching for the real meaning to get married!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-82651160527955468162007-06-06T14:09:00.000+05:302007-06-06T14:09:00.000+05:30May be I am not the right person to comment on thi...May be I am not the right person to comment on this subject, but couldnt resist giving my two pence worth:<BR/><BR/>Marriage/relationship: Do it when you are ready. There will be changes in your life post marriage, but why worry if they bring in new experiences, let you grow as a person and experience life in a new way. As long as the person is right it will be worthwhile. <BR/><BR/>Nothing, not even marriage is permanent. People change, people die, anything can happen. Enjoy the times you have without holding on or planning too much for the old age so to say. That will make the present beautiful and the past memorable. The future..one never knows.<BR/><BR/>Being married is more to me a personal individual experience. You give uncontitionally and are happy in giving. If every one enters marriage thus, there may be no broken hearts!Musings..https://www.blogger.com/profile/02087129031438448019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-71247993659367367152007-06-05T22:07:00.000+05:302007-06-05T22:07:00.000+05:30Dear R,Technically he can do without anyone or a p...Dear R,<BR/>Technically he can do without anyone or a person who cannot offer anything significant, but that is not the issue. The issue is ... forget it! :-)<BR/><BR/>Dear M,<BR/>I wouldn't waste time flattering someone so you probably deserve them all and more! :-) I like your analogy! I am done ruminating!! I hardly last more than one night over a topic! ;-)<BR/><BR/>Dear S,<BR/>Parvatiji sure has an ardent fan following here! :-) Yes, it is something for which one can never expect universal agreement.Erotemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-7862165582210547112007-06-04T01:49:00.000+05:302007-06-04T01:49:00.000+05:30i like P's comments "we as human beings, who will ...i like P's comments <I>"we as human beings, who will be living on this earth for say, a period of 70-75 years, should live with at least one person who is the one who fulfils us, brings us joy all the moments that s/he is with us,</I><BR/><BR/>interesting thoughts, no matter how much we discuss this topic, or even battle it out in our own little head the views will always differ until we find our path into or maybe outta marriage .. dunno if i ever find that path but i try to believe what P said to be trueSanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17542542549895543741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-50033349021270452072007-06-04T00:26:00.000+05:302007-06-04T00:26:00.000+05:30E,Thanks for the compliments but I hardly deserve ...E,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the compliments but I hardly deserve them :) Not sure about your question. By inner self do you mean the soul? If so - nothing that you do - or don't adds or takes away anything from it, right?<BR/><BR/>If you mean inner self as a person, if marriage adds nothing to me personally, I would not consider marrying. However, the point to be considered is - how do you know if marriage will add anything or not until you try it? Hence comes the mystery and the exploration.<BR/><BR/>Personally - I feel with marriage (or indeed, any deep and committed relationship) there must be personal growth because your sense of self changes - and therefore expands (since you view yourself in a different way). Singles and doubles tennis cover roughly the same court area - but the doubles game is fundamentally different in dynamism than the singles one... and I feel a similar case is true of marriage - you will still live a life but coordinating it with someone is a completely new challenge/way of life/experience. This if course, is just my take!<BR/><BR/>Happy ruminating on marriage :-)Mananhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16365180512655105265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-989856269671052232007-06-03T14:20:00.000+05:302007-06-03T14:20:00.000+05:30Eroteme,yes, thats the value addition angle, is it...Eroteme,<BR/><BR/>yes, thats the value addition angle, is it not? (the void)<BR/><BR/>"Point is, what if a person doesn't have a lack, or it is a lack that can be filled by other means? Second issue is, what if the person is unaware of this lack or void and enters into a marriage only to realise that that void is not filled?"<BR/><BR/>These are things designed by evolution and nature. We do most of these things without realising what or why, anyway. So chances are if you drift into it for whatever reason you might end up satisfied.<BR/><BR/>If you dont have a lack or a void, or you dont have a conscious need, then there is nothing to be filled and you will be happy even without getting anything specific out of it, no?<BR/><BR/>"Planes of consciousness exist not because they exist but because we overload the word "consciousness"" I did'nt get that at all :)<BR/><BR/>Surely isn't ether and the like ... yes lot of people would agree with you. Just like lot of people once thought the earth was flat and space was made of ether :DPreronahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873055320080221754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-25150876102046323902007-06-03T08:11:00.000+05:302007-06-03T08:11:00.000+05:30Dear P,Marriage is for society and a notion of mar...Dear P,<BR/>Marriage is for society and a notion of marriage devoid of society appears meaningless to me. I realise that marriage is for a sense of fulfillment, but... Dunno. :-)<BR/><BR/>Dear M,<BR/>True points you raise here. I am not looking for a justification for marrying. You are a mature and very intelligent person. If a marriage adds nothing to your inner self, why would you consider marrying? That is my point. Aah, the mystery of life... :-)<BR/><BR/>Dear R,<BR/>Planes of consciousness exist not because they exist but because we overload the word "consciousness". It surely isn't ether and the like!! :-) You sure have a rosy picture of a marriage!! :-D I think the "sample" marriages thing is usually aplicable for people who get into a marriage because they didn't know what to do and had to pass time. Most others feel a lack in their lives, a void which they feel a person would fill and they would like to marry that person (the lack could also include that of physical intimacy ;-). Point is, what if a person doesn't have a lack, or it is a lack that can be filled by other means? Second issue is, what if the person is unaware of this lack or void and enters into a marriage only to realise that that void is not filled?Erotemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-92044350968999002072007-06-03T01:41:00.000+05:302007-06-03T01:41:00.000+05:30interesting and though provoking post. specially a...interesting and though provoking post. specially all that about the artillery. hmm.<BR/><BR/>:D<BR/><BR/>"So how much does consciousness matter?"<BR/><BR/>do we even know what consciousness is? if anything? what if it turns out to be like 'ether', soul or 'heart' ...<BR/><BR/>dunno.<BR/><BR/>marraige is a contract. you need some form of commitment between a man and woman to succesfully make babies - given the kind of babies we make (ie: born helpless and needing care for many years to survive), being only one (probably the original) example<BR/><BR/>i dont agree with the company in old age theory - because chances are one or the other of the two will die much earlier, or run away with someone else, or become such a pain that you will pray not to have his or her company ;)<BR/><BR/>that's the practical point of view. on a more personal note, i think wether someone would get into it - or indeed any 'relationship' whether or not it is thus formalised - would depend either on their seeing any sample marraiges - or available candidates impressive enough by to tempt them, or on wether they need any other form value addition that it would bringPreronahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08873055320080221754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-14623808463929470192007-06-03T01:11:00.000+05:302007-06-03T01:11:00.000+05:30If you're looking elsewhere for a justification of...If you're looking elsewhere for a justification of marriage, you're looking in the wrong place.<BR/><BR/>Choosing to marry is like moving to another continent - you can read all the guidebooks you want but they aren't going to tell you what the experience is like.<BR/><BR/>Togetherness, love, waking up to someone are just words - copied endlessly from one person, one blog, one article and one novel to another - yet to each person the experience of this will be quite different.<BR/><BR/>The decision to explore (as well as the decision NOT to explore) must be entirely your own; and must necessarily be made with limited information. That's the mystery of life. Not everything can be decided by reasoning.Mananhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16365180512655105265noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-88570897713449170542007-06-02T12:57:00.000+05:302007-06-02T12:57:00.000+05:30:-D. If "you are what you think", you must be a ju...:-D. <BR/>If "you are what you think", you must be a jumble bee. <BR/><BR/>#To me, marriage is a way that enables me to live with the person I want to spend all my life with, without society, the world biting my head off for doing so, as would be the case if I hadn't married him. This is the first principle. While all else that you have spoken about here is a lot of derivatives cushioned by rules of society, biology or companionship, and will never fulfil a mature human being with a rich personality.<BR/><BR/># Actually, without mentioning the word "marriage", I would say that we as human beings, who will be living on this earth for say, a period of 70-75 years, should live with at least one person who is the one who fulfils us, brings us joy all the moments that s/he is with us, as against all the other people that are thrust down our throat by fate or God...<BR/><BR/># Either marry for fulfilment, or for children or for companionship, or for the parents' sake, or ideally if one woman suits all these at a single stroke, grab her and "never let her go, day and night let her know that you love her so!"<BR/><BR/># You are a person of conflicts. How do you manage to live with the different persons that are teeming inside you, I wonder? If I were thus, I would be raging mad, which also means that you have an immeasureable inner spiritual and mental strength to handle all these personalities and contradictory thoughts and emerge out of it as a confident decisionmaking individual.<BR/><BR/># Interesting. Makes me smile, your considerations and concerns regarding marriage. Hope peace prevails once the decision is taken by you, inside your head and outside in your life! Best wishes!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com