tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post110992686522289371..comments2024-03-24T10:29:28.588+05:30Comments on like a feather....: Conversations with (so many) nobody(ies)Erotemehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1166613000761541592006-12-20T16:40:00.000+05:302006-12-20T16:40:00.000+05:30wow! :)wow! :)Meerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12071364623578237334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1165013100828433952006-12-02T04:15:00.000+05:302006-12-02T04:15:00.000+05:30This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.wookiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01140101628004299446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1164774883077527082006-11-29T10:04:00.000+05:302006-11-29T10:04:00.000+05:30Parvati's comments enlighten more than your post t...Parvati's comments enlighten more than your post that entertains more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1110374813077290012005-03-09T18:56:00.001+05:302005-03-09T18:56:00.001+05:30My god! that was one stormy conversation.I must ad...My god! that was one stormy conversation.I must admit you guys went too serious about blogging and love.But i agree with u when u say that u should know why u love a person.Amritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07600725795857358897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1110374802300471692005-03-09T18:56:00.000+05:302005-03-09T18:56:00.000+05:30My god! that was one stormy conversation.I must ad...My god! that was one stormy conversation.I must admit you guys went too serious about blogging and love.But i agree with u when u say that u should know why u love a person.Amritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07600725795857358897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1110352851385179402005-03-09T12:50:00.000+05:302005-03-09T12:50:00.000+05:30[Love is an emotion]..Factual mistake I think...Lo...[<I>Love is an emotion</I>]..Factual mistake I think...Love is not an emotion...Love is a feeling...Emotions are manifestations of your feelings...when you can find the reasons for the manifestations, you cannot find reasons for feelings..(take one or two)...It would be like asking to define a "charge"(as in +ive or -ive)...U can only feel it....understand it...U can say what are its properties, how all it would manifest, but u cant define it..<br /><br />[<I>I think that when someone says that "I love someone" I think the person should know why</I>]<br />What you assume here is that Love is a decision....Need not be...say for example, only when I need to marry a person after I have loved him/her should I ask this question...not for loving him/her perse...Jus because you cant marry him/her doesnt desist you from loving him/her....does it???<br /><br />[<I>Each individual needs to know why one loves and be able to put it down in words.</I>]<br />Not necessarily...as I told, this is possible only when there is need to be a decision...then it reduces love to a mere game of calculation...Love isn't calculation...Say..why do I need to Love my parents...may be if I go by your logic, I should say, coz she gave birth to me...but then a pure rationalist would ask, isn't it for her pleasure...why should I love someone, who did nothing with me in mind, but for her pleasure and satisfaction(social, personal, egoistical n anything)..why should I love my father??...coz he gives me food, clothes, shelter, and money...so why dont you go and love a bank manager...or is it because, my father has all these qualities...like he is tall, handsome, patient, and whatever...so, do I mean to say, there is a unique personality in this world like my father??? Going by your logic, I should Love anyone with these "Properties"(can be both physical and emotional)...sure I should love a person who has done plastic surgery to look live my father???...<br />Love isnt jus a game, where u weigh your options and decide on something...Love is not a decision...Love is a feeling...What you do after Loving a person might be a decision and you need to ask these questions...but to Love perse...its jus I love..that's it..<br /><br />BTW, I came here from Renuka's blog...Nice to have seen this post...Krishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13353408480135207751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1110259137046969322005-03-08T10:48:00.000+05:302005-03-08T10:48:00.000+05:30K..here are my answeres. I will offer nothing more...K..here are my answeres. I will offer nothing more in support of my stance either.<br /><br />1) I agree. Nobody denied it I guess<br /><br />2)They do creep in but they don't change the way you look at your loved one.<br /><br />3)I personally would'nt. As I said its a pre-requisite<br /><br />4)If you care about some 1, then u definitely would miss the person. I don't c anything amiss or illogical. Do u? <br /><br />5)I agree that a person is quite capable of loving his/her kith and kin, but, if v talking about a spouse/lover, I strongly disagree. <br /><br />There could be N number of men with all the qualities that I would look for in my man. It is insanity and an impossibility to fall in love with all of them.<br /><br />6)Its possible to restrain yourself from expressing what you think about someone, but I don't think anybody could stop something that comes naturally.<br /><br />7)Having a reason is appropriate always. In this case, the only thing that is inappropriate is deciding to get rid of someone from your life just 'cos there are some qualities missing(suddenly)<br /><br />Its very much acceptable. Study of the human mind and thought process is by far the most complex and most interesting study in my opinion.<br /><br />8)There is'nt just the 2 of them, the subject of our talk and his/her object of affection. There are other ppl in this world. These values still are important.<br /><br />This apart,even between the 2 ppl, its important to trust each other, be honest and understanding.<br /><br />The presence of these qualities makes the relationship better. Their absense does'nt kill the relationship (being loyal 'n reciprocating ones love are pre-requisites).<br /><br />9)I really don't think so.<br /><br />k..the Q for me<br />This is the way I look at the 2 words.<br /><br />Pre-requisite= This is required to start the relationship.<br /><br />Condition=This could be anything that is required to keep it going.<br /><br />I would’nt brand conversational skills as a pre-requisite. I definitely would brand loyalty as one.<br /><br />You might ask me what happens if one of the ‘pre-requisites’(as I call them), suddenly is’nt met by the person concerned (after the relationship is on). If that happens, then the relationship dies away. In my opinion, this is very rare if one knows what to look for as a pre-requisite. Its only when ppl look for the wrong things that they meet with disappointments.<br /><br />I have nothing more to say!<br /><br />Hope u have a "love"ly day too Eroteme.Xenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17000681096969278925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1110200974375784332005-03-07T18:39:00.000+05:302005-03-07T18:39:00.000+05:30I will make this short as I have to rush elsewhere...I will make this short as I have to rush elsewhere. <br /><br />I would not offer anything more in support of my stance. I request all the angels against the Devil's advocate to answer the following questions (even to yourself is fine):<br /><br />1. How different is Love from any other emotion? Nearly all emotions need an "I" and an object (usu. a human).<br /><br />2. Why do practical elements creep into love as time passes by?<br /><br />3. Would you still love a person who doesn't respect you or love you in return?<br /><br />4. Why do people say that it hurts when someone you "love" leaves them? If love is virtuous and unconditional and a mystery and whatever you will, why should it cause pain?<br /><br />5. Would you disagree that an individual can love more than one person?<br /><br />6. Is it possible to decide not to love?<br /><br />7. Is having a reason for things inappropriate? Is going into the mind to find out why one is angry or why one is jealous or why one is in love, a destructive or degenerative or an unacceptable process?<br /><br />8. If one can love unconditionally, why does one hold great importance for loyalty, honesty, trust, understanding etc.?<br /><br />9. Is love an interplay of images created by the fecundity of the mind?<br /><br />Xena, this one is for you: What is the difference between pre-requisite and condition? <br /><br />I am mostly done with presenting my stance... Wish all of you a "love"ly day...Erotemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1110198641448378212005-03-07T18:00:00.000+05:302005-03-07T18:00:00.000+05:30Let me make my often repeated saga short - LOVE ha...<I>Let me make my often repeated saga short - LOVE has NO REASON. True love is unconditional. Simply because when the reason no longer exists ... one will fall out of it.</I>Wow, man what a neat li’ll piece of truth. I agree with her Eroteme, if you think u need reasons to fall in 'n out of love, you are more or less employing somebody as your 'loved one'. When you divorce the person, you are just disposing off somebody who you found was good for some reasons, but wasn’t good enough in the long run. Doesn’t that sound bad? :(<br /><br /><I>See, if the two people had fallen in love after understanding what exactly made them believe that they were in love, then things make sense and then people are prepared for nearly everything.<br /><br /> If I come to you and tell you that I love her, I am most likely to have a set of reasons. I might find her a wonderful conversationalist, a considerate person, someone who doesn't really have airs about herself, whatever. But I will have definite reasons. There would still be those "something only she can do" things...</I>Definitely, there could be qualities that make you like some one, but once you are into the relationship; these qualities cannot be the factor deciding the very existence of the relationship.<br /><br /><I>One loves because one wishes to be loved in return. Can you spot me 1 person who loves and doesn't care (not doesn't mind) about whether s/he is loved in return by the object of her/his love? No, no. Not yourself. We are always adept at spotting ourselves when it concerns something like this!!!</I>Sure enough, there isn’t a soul who wouldn’t care a damn if he/she loves and isn’t loved in return. This is in my opinion a pre-requisite for a relationship to work. I wouldn’t call this a condition.Xenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17000681096969278925noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1110161185937276362005-03-07T07:36:00.000+05:302005-03-07T07:36:00.000+05:30Dear Trou, I suppose I am old, and many think simi...Dear Trou, I suppose I am old, and many think similarly of me, but numerically I am younger than you!! <br />"LOVE has NO REASON"<br />And hence, divorcing from this love (which is different from legal divorce) also needn't have a reson. Agreed? Hmmm. One can't be hungry for no reason and satiated for specific reasons.<br />Hahahahahaha :-)) I am so glad that you caught yourself. Save's me the trouble of appearing as a pain! This refers to "So, a person in love is INSANE "<br />"Love, unlike any emotion has no reason and is unconditional - that is why it is above every other virtue."<br />Sorry for sounding hard: Love isn't virtuous. One loves because one wishes to be loved in return. Can you spot me 1 person who loves and doesn't care (not doesn't mind) about whether s/he is loved in return by the object of her/his love? No, no. Not yourself. We are always adept at spotting ourselves when it concerns something like this!!! ;-)<br />Love is (in popular display) a need. Some people wax over it and want to call it noble things. And some people see it as it is. My concept of love, which I haven't even touched upon, is something totally unacceptable to many in this world... I shall blog about that sometime later.<br /><br />"and you would immediately say - I am contradicting myself - But heck - it is not blind"<br />You know me fairly well by now!!! ;-) Is my being a pain so obvious?<br /><br />"I'm talking about a mature mind not the immature one which seeks constant gratification and confirmation of love."<br />Good. We talk about the same thing here, but...<br /><br />"You say you love some one because .... Sorry, you dont love there - you've got yourself into some business contract which has a reason to exist and will die or cease to exist on the expiration of the reason - O yea you've definitely opened eyes and read the contract through, unfortunately u dont read between the lines and think u r in love !!!"<br />That's why I never say I am in love, or rather, always in love...<br />Point is (apart from a sorry attempt at a pun) would you fall in love with someone who doesn't believe in your most core value? Let's assume that you are very clear about honesty (I would have picked up a habit, but then hey! I have heard enough rebuttals for that) and make little compromise about it. You meet this guy and you fall in love with him (no reasons). You are married to him (congratulations!!) and 7 years down the line you realise that he has been fibbing to you about a lot of things (let us leave out extra/pre-marital affairs here). Fibbing without a concern as to what you would feel. Mind you your love for him is unconditional and unreasonable (ha! I love saying that). Hence, it doesn't include his loving you or say, respecting you. What now? I suppose you would be loving him inspite of all the situations where you got to realise (lets add some vino and spice to this) in front of so many friends and family members that he has been lying to you. Oooh! la la. I do not even venture into figuring out whether you would stay married to him, for marriage to me is ... another blog post! Don't you dare stop loving him, for your love is unconditional!! ;-) Kidding. No mockery intended. Honest. Smile? Please?<br />I am not heading towards a contractual realisation of love. Oh! no. All I said in that conversation was, divorce in a relationship, which had no basis, is not necessarily the bad thing! Simple. I say nothing much about love. And not much about divorce as well. I was merely playing the Devil's advocate (have you seen the movie? Neat).<br /><br />"Lets have at least one Mystery." <br />I hear there is a new book in the Hardy Boys series...<br /><br />"You sure are one very opinionated guy"<br />Opinionated? How? Just wondering. Read my comment a few times, and still wondering.<br /><br />" - who I like to think is asking interesting questions - But when u either wake up on the wrong side of your bed or are in a bad mood with your boss - NEVER leave a comment ... write when you're in a good mood."<br /><br />I like to think that I am flattered by your comment. But then hey! I like so many things...<br />Let me let you into my room. Picture this. My bed has 4 sides (some shorter than the others). Now I can get off only on one side. I could do a reverse somersault and get down from over my headboard, or slide straight down and land on my computer, or get off the other side and bang against a wall, which, if I manage to break through will land me in my washing machine in my rest (?) room. Hence, I can get off only one side. And I usually write to get into a good mood!! Like now.<br /><br />Definition of sanity and insanity? Oh! Boy. I have been typing out since 4:45 in the morning and it is now 7:33. I think this is insanity. Had I stopped at 4:48, that would be sanity. Or did I get them wrong? Or not?<br /><br />Dear Meera,<br />"...need some time for a detailed comment - and you know what that means right? ;-)"<br />Actually, I don't. :-)Erotemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109939639138611992005-03-04T18:03:00.000+05:302005-03-04T18:03:00.000+05:30Hold it there - Yeah - "A person who is forever fu...Hold it there - Yeah - "A person who is forever fuelled by anger ... I hate to even imagine that - that's why any sane person usually has a reason for anger, once the reason is found and quenched - its over - water under the bridge."<br /><br />So, a person in love is INSANE ... LOL ... This is something I wont explain - actually - What is sanity and insanity - Definition ? There is one. What about the fire fighter who jumps into the burning house to rescue some one ... Sane ? Insane ? Insanely in love ..? Sanely in love? Passionately in love ?<br /><br />Actually I like to just see all these - comment and not judge or condemn ! I got to really get going to pack off to Sharjah !Loveena Rajhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12419914133568382826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109939257767169492005-03-04T17:57:00.000+05:302005-03-04T17:57:00.000+05:30Ta da ... Detailed comment - You asked for it youn...Ta da ... Detailed comment - You asked for it young man (guessin you are ;-))<br /><br />Finally I've put my finger bang on the problem. When you just left the comment on my blog about the 'definition' I was wondering ... <br /><br />Lets get to your discussion - You want a definition for love because you think and know that there has to be a reason for a person to fall in love with another. Because ... she is a good conversationalist, she is etc etc etc ... and therefore your stand on divorce is also justified because when no longer you find those traits or charecteristics which at first you found appealing - then yep - you have to let go - AGREED. *pat you* <br /><br />*Big Sigh* <br /><br />ME - that's Me trouvaille - firmly believe in something else. Let me make my oft repeated saga short - LOVE has NO REASON. True love is unconditional. Simply because when the reason no longer exists ... one will fall out of it. You have given me an excellent comparison - Anger - Just imagine a feeling like anger with no reason ... A person who is forever fuelled by anger ... I hate to even imagine that - that's why any sane person usually has a reason for anger, once the reason is found and quenched - its over - water under the bridge.<br /><br />Love, unlike any emotion has no reason and is unconditional - that is why it is above every other virtue. Love in its purest form is love without reason and that is why it is 'Immortal' If at all it had a reason - once the reason is found and dissected and bisected and defined ..... That would be the end of it!<br /><br />Anyway, if love according to some XYZ was 'Blind' and I am asked to conform - because that is what generally happens - some hot shot defines something and others are expected to follow - well, I for one would be a rebel. Love of all things is not blind. O yea it does not have a reason and you would immediately say - I am contradicting myself - But heck - it is not blind.<br /><br />Me in one of my good moods - so I'll explain - When u know u r in love and u simply dont know why you feel that way for that certain person ... yup u are getting into it without knowing anything against all rational thought - obviously - blinded. True love the one I am talking about - unconditional - is the kind of love which gets into it taking up the responsibility... The kind of love which knows to be patient and not demanding. I'm talking about a mature mind not the immature one which seeks constant gratification and confirmation of love.<br /><br />Sick of those - He does not tell me he loves me as often as he used to !!! He would bring home flowers - that's why I loved him!!! That's not LOVE. <br /><br />You say you love some one because .... Sorry, you dont love there - you've got yourself into some business contract which has a reason to exist and will die or cease to exist on the expiration of the reason - O yea you've definitely opened eyes and read the contract through, unfortunately u dont read between the lines and think u r in love !!! <br /><br />Hey, wrote down that lil thing about flirtation in your Koan - check it out - Hmmm... Enough lessons on emotions !!! :-) So, wil be checkin up your comments and replies only on Thursday when I get home - so ... untill then - keep blogging - but dont tell you are in love if you know 'why' you are in love. Lets have at least one Mystery. <br /><br />Which brings me to that thing you'd written about sex being a mystery !!! I've replied in my blog. LOL You sure are one very opinionated guy - who I like to think is asking interesting questions - But when u either wake up on the wrong side of your bed or are in a bad mood with your boss - NEVER leave a comment ... write when you're in a good mood. <br /><br />Adieu :-)Loveena Rajhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12419914133568382826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109938192328093492005-03-04T17:39:00.000+05:302005-03-04T17:39:00.000+05:30tht was quite a surprise - within five minutes i f...tht was quite a surprise - within five minutes i find 7 comments from 2 when i originally read this postreNUkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08001586013119545854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109937873936125902005-03-04T17:34:00.000+05:302005-03-04T17:34:00.000+05:30Renuka, Its fine. As you must have realised, I agr...Renuka, Its fine. As you must have realised, I agreed to your POV by the end of the conversation. So its ok with this comment too. But I am glad to finally see a comment from you!<br /><br />Meera, Meera, Meera. I am surprised that I still retain my sanity. I never said we had coffee. I was careful in that, and I still do remember your opinion about that coffee shop. The brownies aren't really bad out there. Java Green? What do you mean what was I doing in bed on a weekday? :-))<br />That sounds really bad!!! :-))<br />I always try to go to bed by 20:00 hrs. :-)Erotemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109937702633454732005-03-04T17:31:00.000+05:302005-03-04T17:31:00.000+05:30This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Meerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12071364623578237334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109937589380372182005-03-04T17:29:00.000+05:302005-03-04T17:29:00.000+05:30I agree with Renuka - need some time for a detaile...I agree with Renuka - need some time for a detailed comment - and you know what that means right? ;-)Meerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12071364623578237334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109937524389603452005-03-04T17:28:00.001+05:302005-03-04T17:28:00.001+05:30Eroteme - A couple of things:
1) Coffee shop in L...Eroteme - A couple of things:<br /><br />1) Coffee shop in Landmark Spencer's serves really bad coffee. <br /><br />2) What were u doing in bed at 20:00 hrs on a weekday? <br /><br />And thats all I have to say about that! :-)<br /><br />More later...Meerahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12071364623578237334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109937515736520302005-03-04T17:28:00.000+05:302005-03-04T17:28:00.000+05:30do u want a simple comment or.... jus kiddin - it ...do u want a simple comment or.... jus kiddin - it s a good idea that u have come up with - and a good disclaimer too - will need some time to post an exhaustive comment - gimme some time :-)reNUkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08001586013119545854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9766640.post-1109934261853071382005-03-04T16:34:00.000+05:302005-03-04T16:34:00.000+05:30Thank you so much, Lakshmi. I was fairly aware of ...Thank you so much, Lakshmi. I was fairly aware of your visits, but wasn't sure... :-) I still have to comment on your "My heart found silence" post. Will do so sometime soon...Erotemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03677513867884448593noreply@blogger.com